Understanding Emotional Intelligence

by Cornelius D. Jones

     Understanding emotional intelligence provides us with an advantage of knowing how and when to demonstrate it. Although it is now spoken about more than in previous years, our society could truly benefit from understanding it. In short, it’s the ability to identify and manage one’s own emotions, and the emotions of others. How can we help to manage the emotions of others, when many of us struggle to do the same with our own feelings? Regardless of the setting, whether we’re in the comfort of our homes, in public, or a professional environment…as civilized people we should be able exercise emotional intelligence. There is a real need in all levels of government, corporate America, the military, law enforcement, and other sectors for training on emotional intelligence. For many people this isn't a rare talent. It requires having a set of unique skills to identify our emotions and utilize them while thinking, problem solving, and managing feelings in uncomfortable situations. Below I will discuss the components and skills in greater detail. 

Individuals with high emotional intelligence are adept to using empathy and constructive communication. They naturally relate well to others and are able to accomplish more through encouragement and persuasion. They typically excel at inspiring, guiding, and leading others to achieve their best work. They tend to be flexible, adaptive, self-motivated, and confident. These are the things that separate people with high EQ (emotional intelligence) from others. As I often say, "being strategic helps to keep us to remain focused, while being emotional causes us to become distracted." Now that I have provided you with an overview, it's time for me to breakdown what the emotional intelligence components and skills are.  
 
    The 4 Components of Emotional Intelligence

There are four levels of emotional intelligence which are: emotional perception, the ability to reason using emotions, the ability to understand emotions, and the ability to manage emotions.

1. Perceiving emotions: The first step in understanding emotions is to perceive them accurately. In many cases, this might involve understanding nonverbal signals such as body language and facial expressions.
2. Reasoning with emotions: This step involves using emotions to promote thinking and cognitive activity. Emotions help us to prioritize what we pay attention and react to. Naturally we all respond emotionally to things we care about.
3. Understanding emotions: The emotions that we perceive can carry a wide variety of meanings. If someone is expressing anger, the observer must interpret what has made the person angry and what it could mean. For example, if your supervisor is acting angry, it might mean that they are dissatisfied with your work, or they are in hot water with higher ups, or they had a bad argument with their significant other.
4. Managing emotions: The ability to manage emotions effectively is a crucial part of emotional intelligence and the highest level. Regulating emotions and responding appropriately as well as responding to the emotions of others are all important aspects of emotional management.

 
     5 Key Emotional Intelligence Skills

1. Self- Awareness - is the ability to recognize and understand your own emotions. It’s a critical emotional intelligence skill. This goes beyond just recognizing your emotions, because you also must be aware of the effect of your actions, moods, and emotions on other people. 

    2.    Self – Regulation - requires you to be able to regulate and manage your emotions. While demonstrating the skills                 to wait for the right time and place to express your feeling. Self-regulation is all about expressing your emotions                   appropriately. Becoming disrespectful, shouting, and cursing at others when we are upset is the opposite of self-                  regulation.

   3.    Social Skills – affords us to build meaningful relationships with others and develop a stronger understanding of                   ourselves and others. Our social skills help us in daily interactions and communications.

   4.    Empathy - is the ability to understand how others are feeling and being present with them. This skill is critical as                  well because it involves being able to sense that someone is feeling sad, hopeless or frustrated. This skill allows us             to be emotionally supportive as we empathize with them.

    5.  Intrinsic Motivation – is a significant part of being emotionally intelligent. This is when we have passions that fulfill             our inner needs and goals. The things that go beyond external rewards like fame, money, recognition, and acclaim.

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